Drink a Cup of Coffee in the Shower

As an exercise in patience. Sure, try it. It’s very difficult to be impatient while you’re drinking coffee in the shower with the water thrumming against your neck and all normal assumptions of what you are there to do are suspended while you leisurely sip, sip, sip your bean juice. I tried it this morning before church. Don’t really remember why I wanted to do it in the first place—it wasn’t because my wife and I were going to be late, which, of course, we were; rather, I wanted to try something novel. And what I found instead is that I’m weird.

God made showers. And He made coffee. It was only a matter of time before they came together. That time has come. Today. Let the history books be rewritten. Those Columbian coffee makers, if they could figure out how to package coffee shower beans; or, if they could grow showers themselves and manufacture little coffee makers next to the shower head, then our world would be that much more streamlined. It may not make people patient, per se, but it would have a lot of heads talking. And that’s what we want.

No, no. I’m not condoning abandoning coffee makers. No, of course not. Those java machines have their place, they always will. Our hearts are big enough for a little espresso bean to keep their places. Man, what I mean is that we need a shower revolution. We need to think outside the pulsing stream. Or the jet stream. Or even, the regular flow stream. Keep the soap. Keep the soap. Your coworkers need you to hold onto that soap. But don’t forget the coffee.

But back to patience. You just proved that you had it by reading this blog, which doesn’t make any sense and has no point whatsoever and is a total waste of time. Congratulations. You won. Now hit the showers. And don’t forget the coffee.

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